CURRENTLY PUBLISHING TODAY IS A DAY ON SUBSTACK.
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OTHER WRITTEN SELECTIONS
SOCIAL MEDIA IMAGE CAPTIONS
*improvised, unedited works
layers of amusement / intertwined with your grip / like stripes of your own imprisonment / tightening as you hang by a thread / until visions of wonder appear before you / asking you to take the risk / and if you let go / of one hand of tricks / will you still be holding on
***
last night stripped me down / to the bottom of my own box / of vulnerabilities / like i stripped my walls and i stood there naked / and being so bare was too much to bear / all i can do is be here in the cracks / hoping for a respite / clinging to the hard walls / of a washed up summer / hoping for this old heart / to find land for the fall
***
look at me / don’t look at me / come to me / leave me alone / be with me / don’t come close / see me fully / let me be invisible / stay over there / devour me / give me all of your devotion / feel me here i am / who you are / i am who i am / you are who you are / you are who i think you are / i am who you are / who are you if we aren’t looking closely / who are we / when we are truly in full view
POETRY
*minimally edited works
we sometimes say / you have stolen my heart / like what we’re really saying is / i’m so in love with you / i let you metaphorically think you can have the thing that / you’ll never actually have / you stealing my heart / is really me saying / yes you’re filling me with so much love / i’d even let you kill me / like why would you want someone to / steal your heart anyways / your heart is what gives you life / your heart is what makes you you / i find it a little bit funny / that we also say / take my breath away / when we love someone / or even when we lust someone / like why would i want someone to / take my breath away / that would kill me too
***
softening into the potent parts / that sit just below the surface / leave your trace on my organs / i beg you / as you pop the bubbles / that have gone untouched / your body a phantom inside / unfolding me in to pockets / i’ve previously held / like treasure tightly wound
OPENING MONOLOGUE FROM THE PLAY “SUGAR AND SHIT”
*edited work from a two-person play i co-wrote, produced, and performed
Dear sweetness,
How are you? It’s been a while since we met, but I think about you often. I feel your absence so much when you’re gone. Honestly, it’s funny, whenever I think I can live without you, I realize that I really can’t. You’re one of the only things I’ve truly loved my whole life.
It’s funny how you can love something so much and still deny it for yourself. Sweetness, I’m sorry I avoid you so much even though I love you so much. You’re in the the music I listen to, the people I sleep with, all the ways I portray myself. I love to feel like you, sweetness.
You remember that song, syrup & honey? The one that goes “don’t you be wasting all your money on syrup and honey, because I’m sweet enough?” I wished that I could be like that song. To be so sweet that no one needs anything else. To get people hooked on my sweetness, like I’m hooked on you.
I always thought if I could be like you, sweetness, no one would ever leave me.
Wanna know something crazy?
Some people are so afraid of their feelings that they don’t allow sweetness in at all. It’s too soft, feels too good, they feel too spoiled. They don’t feel worthy of being treated with such deliciousness. It just ends up hurting me in the end.
Sweetness, sometimes I just spend too much time with people who don’t appreciate you. I’m really sorry when I do that because you really deserve to be appreciated. Honored. Known.
You know what it is? I think that the people who avoid you so much are actually the ones who need you the most.
Sweetness, you just know all the right ways to fill people up.
I watch so many people put fake sugar into their body but refuse anything actually sweet. They are perfectly happy eating candy, cookies, and cake...Yet they refuse snuggles, candles, blankets, hand holding, and mere presence. Remember hand holding and listening to an album together? Remember when we’d just lay down snuggling and tell each other stories?
That was so fucking sweet.
Sweetness, you’re just so fucking sweet.
I’ll admit it’s hard even for me to tell when you’re real.
Cause, even I’ve faked it.
Anyways, gotta run, I’m at work.
xoxo
Sugar